Each and everyday that I worked this week, I was making, in my eyes, astronomical mistakes. Finding myself getting so frustrated and being filled with such a nasty attitude. Telling myself that I am better than this. Asking myself, “What’s wrong with you today. This isn’t you.” I would then continue to try to press on, trying to be perfect enough to cover the mistakes and lowness I made.
Then other day I had the most humbling opportunity to speak to one of my friends. This was the first we have ever really got to have a one on one conversation. And as we were talking, he openly told me, with the most humbling heart, “I’m a mess.” Not jokingly. And not just to say it. He truly meant it. He was able to tell me and himself that he is hurting and struggling.
I found this to be the most beautiful thing to hear him be completely present to his body, mind, and soul enough to recognize how he is.
As he continued to release his heart to me, I got the humbling experience to share the truth of God. That God came down to earth as Jesus to live the most perfect life and hold the weight of the world on his shoulder so that we would not have to. So, it is perfectly OK to not be perfect and feel that you are not strong enough because that is not our job nor the cards that we hold.
I was speaking these truths to him, I realized that I am completely guilty of forgetting this truth.
I feel that we love to suppress how we are really are doing. We busy our lives and our mind to distant ourselves from how we are actually doing and who we are to be something we currently are not. Whether that be strong or perfect.
And obviously, I completely guilty of this.
I am so grateful for my friend’s heart and openness. I got to remind myself of this truth because, honestly, I forgot it until today. I, once again, found myself making messes and mistakes at work and getting frustrated. I then, under my breath, said, “I’m human. I make mistakes.”
And then… BAM! It hit me.
Yes, I am human. I make mistakes. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OK!
I finally was able to be present to my body and mind, and realize that I am not as strong as I think I am.
I was given these moments to practice what I preach and what I believe. That I am completely incapable of not making mistakes. It is not my job to be perfect, but to do my best and recognize when that I need help.
And I probably would not have this realization without the gracious and open heart of my friend. I’m not sure if I was helpful to him in anyway. But I hope he knows how grateful I am for this heart to share his feeling and his soul with me, and how it has and will continue to save me from my own self-destruction.
I pray that we all know, that we are perfectly perfect in our imperfect selves. We are so talented beyond are imagination. I hope that we can see once the idea of perfection escapes ourselves, we will exceed and receive things in the most luminous ways beyond his wildest dreams.